Sex, Self-Awareness and Intimate Relationships

There are some surprising similarities between Sex and Self-Awareness with regard to Intimate Relationships, some of which you might have never thought about. And why would you? The two seem to be worlds-apart. But are they?

Similarities between Sex and Self-Awareness

1. Sex and Self-awareness are both part of an intimate relationship. However, there are many who do without one or both of them.

2. People who go for a long time without sex sometimes don’t feel the need, desire or wish for it anymore.

Same holds true with Self-Awareness. As long as you don’t have Self-Awareness and don’t feel its absence in your life, you don’t feel the need to develop it.

3. When you have sex – and enjoy it – you often want more of it.

Same holds true with Self-Awareness: once you begin to develop it and realize how it changes your life for the better, you want to continue developing it even further, to become even more aware and empowered to improve your life and relationships.

4. In relationships there is always one who wants (and “needs”) more sex and one who wants and “needs” less. Even if both partners want sex and enjoy from it, there is always one who wants more and another who wants less.

Same holds true with Self-Awareness: in each relationship there is always one who is more and one who is less aware. Even when both partners develop Self-Awareness, one is still more aware than the other.

5. Having sex is unique to each individual and each couple. Each one has his/her “own cup of tea (or coffee)”. The ways in which they have sex is up to them. Creativity is an important ingredient of good sex. There are those who take the time while having sex, and those who make it very quickly. There are those who “help” their partners to enjoy, and those who care only about their own pleasure.

Same holds true with Self-Awareness. Developing and using it is also unique to each individual. There are those who go through the process quickly, those who go through it slowly; there are those who develop it “one step at a time”, and those who develop it constantly over a long period of time. There are those who care about their partners’ Self-Awareness and those who care most of all about their own.

6. During sex there are those who “demand” that their partner will respond to their requests; they try to convince and “teach” their partners how to have “great sex”.

Same hold true with Self-awareness: there are those who demand that their partners will develop self-awareness parallel to them. Some even “outline” the process for their partners.

7. Couples who barely see each other during the day and/or the week, when they get into bed at night the woman often doesn’t have desire for sex. She might blame her partner for not showing her much attention – which is one reason for her not being sexually and emotionally aroused towards him.

Same hold true with Self-Awareness: Couples who barely see each other during the day and/or the week, when they get into bed at night and don’t even care to talk and listen to one another, often will not contemplate to develop Self-Awareness and figure out what’s going on with them and how they harm their relationship (instead, each might tend to blame the other).

Where there are NO similarities between Sex and Self-Awareness

1. Research shows that a woman who spends the day doing things together with her partner for the children feels more “up to” having sex with him later that night (even if she is tired) than a woman whose husband didn’t help her with family matters.

The same doesn’t necessarily hold true with Self-Awareness: a person who’s involved with his/her partner to a great extent during the day isn’t necessarily more prone to become more self-aware. Often “doing” things together becomes a matter of routine which has no relevance to Self-Awareness.

2. Sex on TV and movies is often done with high frequency, causing you to be confused about your own sexuality. But then while talking with friends you realize that you are all in the same boat – nobody has the same sex desire like depicted on TV and movies.

With Self-Awareness there isn’t such a big gap between TV, movies and you: not only you don’t see people dealing with their Self-awareness on TV and films, many of your friends (including yourself) might not be involved with it either.

Sex, Self-Awareness and Intimate Relationships

Both Sex and Self-Awareness are ingredients of a high-quality-relationship. The more one (and the partner) feels at peace about his/her sex life (regardless of the frequency) and the more self-aware one (and the partner) is, the higher the quality of their intimacy – due to their openness, authenticity, mutual give-and-take, their ability to not harm their bond unnecessarily but rather react and behave towards each other in ways vital for a healthy and successful relationship.

Source by Doron Gil, Ph.D.

    Leave Your Comment Here